The Serene Way

I.L.C (Integrative Life Coaching) session conversation

 

PART III

 

Identify patterns from your life and how they can be used to your best advantage

Achieve balance between work, home and play

Create personal tools to maintain and enhance a healthy lifestyle

 

 

P.:  ah…the infamous turtle…

 
Tim W.:  hahahah…there are many parables that we take for granted and pay lip service to, yet there are tremendous simplicities within them

P.:  are they not written for children…hmmm…

P.:  you do know that the originals were written for adults oftentimes?

Tim W.:  we are children…with active minds…we

P.:  oh…I love that…

P.:  yes we are all children…

Tim W.:  we lose that aspect of our selves

Tim W.:  the most important this is to play…enjoy all that we do

P.:  I tell my students that I am almost as young as them when they ask my age…

Tim W.:  find that within and you find truth

Tim W.:  I say I’m as old as my shoe size and will stay that way

P.:  perhaps this truth is why I enjoy beeing with children so much…

Tim W.:  society makes us think we have to act in a certain manner…at least children are authentic

P.:  lol…I haven’t tried that one

P.:  yes, children are gems in the universe

Tim W.:  yes, and we forget that this is part of who we are

P.:  so many do forget Tim, but I’m with you..play is important

P.:  and think about it…young children learn through their play…

P.:  adults do too…

P.:  how we interact with our environment can give us varied experiences, yes?

Tim W.:  exactly…laughter is the greatest way to get someone to remember something

Tim W.:  absolutely

Tim W.:  make it fun

Tim W.:  why make it any other way when it causes pain

Tim W.:  enjoy…be…totally

P.:  yes! and Tim?

P.:  you’re welcome to come to my classroom anytime…smiles… we do have lots of fun

Tim W.:  hahahaha….that’s too sweet@!!

P.:  shhh…just don’t tell the grownups

Tim W.:  they wouldn’t understand…though they should!!

P.:  lol…

Tim W.:  see you have this wonderful circumstance to see how to be…real…total..authentic…look to the children and you can find it in them…the let it all go…you only have to do the same

Tim W.:  all lovely creatures of creation

P.:  its funny you say that because I am most at peace when i am with them

P.:  I forget myself in a sense…I know you’ll understand that statement

P.:  if i could carry that over…sigh

P.:  animals are…

Tim W.:  then you only have to bring that with you…in this sense taking your work home is a good thing…hahaha

P.:  I see them, watch them and try to learn from their existence…

Tim W.:  you can…it is in your mind…if it is in your mind…quiet the merry go round and bring it to that point

Tim W.:  that is all they do, exist!

P.:  yes, i think meditation is beginning to help me with that…

Tim W.:  we put all the other stuff on them and ourselves..expectations, cultural taboos, etc

P.:  yes, you understand my meaning about animals

P.:  to be as they are…

Tim W.:  find what works for you…meditation is not just sitting and being silent or stilling the mind…for you when you reach that state in the classroom that is your meditation…the natural way for you

P.:  it is…

P.:  yes?

Tim W.:  it would seem so from what you have said…

Tim W.:  it is there you feel at one…the best you feel

P.:  it is also different from my meditation….when i am with them…I can just be

P.:  meditation goes through steps

Tim W.:  then you have just reached your own answer

Tim W.:  yes, and those steps are there as a method, if it cannot be attained in another way

 

P.:  so, i need to be with children all the time…grins

Tim W.:  hahahah….that depends on you…too much of a good thing

Tim W.:  lol

P.:  you have just given me a gift Tim…thank you

P.:  moderation, eh?

P.:  nature hikes bring me to me as well…that stillness I mean

Tim W.:  remember just being with them is the same as having the mind calmed in thinking like when you are with them

Tim W.:  there that is another place of meditation for you

P.:  now you have me searching for those moments

Tim W.:  the stillness, peace or whatever you wish to call it can manifest in many different ways…the thing is to bring that with you in all things and be that way in all things

Tim W.:  and you will find them…the too are part of your experience and patterns…being consciously aware of them will bring them into other situations where they bring this sense of just being

P.:  I am learning to let things be…to find that inner place

P.:  to let go of judgement

Tim W.:  you have found that inner place…it is only to remember that it is always there

Tim W.:  when you have that sense of being is there any judgement?

P.:  no need for judgement

Tim W.:  Is there a force to let things be?

P.:  no force

Tim W.:  ahhh…

P.:  things just are and all is okay

P.:  no fear even

Tim W.:  again you have found your answers…they are there…it is to remember just the being at those times…bring those situations to the conscious mind and all else no longer exists

Tim W.:  even fear

Tim W.:  the pratical becomes theory which can be again used in practical application

P.:  hmmm.

Tim W.:  the shift is only in the mind, conscious thought

P.:  thinking of outside influences…

P.:  everything is connected

Tim W.:  are they really outside?

P.:  ha

P.:  thinking same thoughts?

Tim W.:  yes, and yes

Tim W.:  so if you have fear…think of the hike…what happens to the fear…gone - yes?

P.:  yes…

Tim W.:  when you are judging…think of the children (being) what happens to the judgement…gone - yes?

P.:  definitely

Tim W.:  now you are using your own experience to lift your energy and to work through any turmoil that the mind creates…

P.:  I like that, yes, i feel the positive energy in that

Tim W.:  you have found your centre in different places…just bring that to all places that you are

P.:  it is so simple

Tim W.:  only when we are off that centre does the other stuff come about…yet we know the (absolutely) the simplicity of it

Tim W.:  good on ya!

P.:  yes, and…it’s okay to just be

P.:  confession

P.:  ?

Tim W.:  yeppers…we learn there…we exist there…we can experience all

P.:  any situation

P.:  is okay now

Tim W.:  it is all connected it is all part of who we are as emotional, physical and energetic beings

P.:  acceptance of self  of all

Tim W.:  it can be ok if we get to that centre…the mind doesn’t want us to get there because then it doesn’t have control or life

Tim W.:  exactly

P.:  silly…

P.:  emotions….

P.:  experiencing a silly tear…argh

Tim W.:  they are beautiful…they are the colour of our lives…just not to control us

Tim W.:  tears are beautiful, they are water and water is life

Tim W.:  the cleanse, they give life

P.:  water is…a tear is… I am…

P.:  how do i thank you…

|Tim W.:  no more need be said

Tim W.:  for what?

P.:  this conversation

Tim W.:  you have seen yourself

P.:  for being

Tim W.:  hahahah

P.:  smiles

Tim W.:  and that is returned…many fold!!

Tim W.:  we learn from interaction…all is…

P.:  yes, but what has Tim learned from this?

Tim W.:  Tim has connected with another beautiful soul that is on a wonderful journey to light

Tim W.:  we have shared our experience our thoughts and created a connection that is full of light

P.:  as has P…

P.:  reconnected…grins

Tim W.:  he has seen that light comes from shadow and has learned love is and as P. says “I am”

 

P.:  we are

Tim W.:  ONE~

 

 

 

©T.S. (Tim) White, 2008

All Rights reserved. 

www.TheSereneWay.com

 

 

 

 

I.L.C – Part I

I.L.C – Part II

 

 

For more information about I.L.C - Integrative Life Coaching, please feel free to contact Tim at tsw@TheSereneWay.com

 

Tolerance, Acceptance & Understanding

World Talk Radio - Amendments to the Food & Drugs Act

I grew up at a time in Newfoundland when many women were still referred to by their own names in addition to that of their husband’s, such as Aunt Mary Joe or Aunt Mary Steve. My paternal grandmother was known as Theresa Charlie or Grandma White to me. With my maternal grandmother I only ever heard Regina, and for me Grammie O’Brien. I wonder now what effect this had, if any, on their individuality. How different a time it was, when the identity of these wonderful, strong and loving women was so inextricably tied to that of the men in their lives. 

My grandmothers were born a year apart prior to WWI, when stoicism was, and perhaps still is, considered a more masculine trait. Yet I look back at the lives they led and think there are none more stoic than these women. They had husbands—whom they both outlived—that drank excessively and by all accounts had serious anger management issues. Still they persevered, held their faith and remained true. How they dealt with this situation had its similarities and differences. They both had their rocking chairs and knitting, next to an old wood stove where red hot embers would occasionally snap out of the vent. This is where I remember them spending most of their time with a ‘clickitey-click’ of the knitting needles. One family was quiet and accepting, perhaps beaten (down) into submission; the other loud and confrontational, climbing over the din; both as individual as their matriarchs. In these two extremes, what valuable examples of how any situation has many sides and complexities, illustrating a broad perspective on what defines strength.   

Combined, my grandmothers had 29 children, though they raised many more depending on need and circumstance. With the passing of a child or a child’s spouse or children who became single parents living at home or when their children and child’s spouse were working parents, they were there to take up the care of their grandchildren whether for a moment, a year or a life time. What an incredible sense of family and community they were able to provide, shouldering this incredible responsibility without question and with little means.   They also endured many nicknames as they matured and the physical effects of aging began to take their toll. Grammie O’Brien became ‘putt-putt’ as a couple of heart attacks in her 60’s caused a flatulence condition. I heard ‘leather jowls’ as sons would grab the cheeks of a roundish Grandma White, pulling and smacking them against her false teeth. She later graduated to ‘Grannie One-Lung’ after a portion of a lung was removed due to cancer in the early ’80s. Never more than a ‘tch, tch’ was given in reprimand, but there was always a good laugh! Here, another invaluable lesson for seeing the humour in life and being able to laugh at ourselves even when facing decline and illness. Grammie O’Brien passed a few years ago at the age of 89. Grandma White still chopped her own wood for the winter until the age of 91, being slowed only by the ‘nippers’(mosquitoes); she continues to live in her own house and will be 94 on her birthday in August. These women, who loved and cared unconditionally, provide an inspirational example of living that I carry with me in my heart everyday of my life.  

© T.S. (Tim) White, 2007  All rights reserved

Strengths can be measured as security and support. There are strengths of a financial nature which provide a stability in the external world as society is currently structured with money – a detail – that is necessary yet prohibit a furthering individual spiritual development. There are strengths of an emotional nature which provide sustenance for the soul which is at odds with the current social paradigm. Both are necessary, however current priority is given to cash flow status, which in effect imprison us within boundaries of an external nature. A balance needs to be achieved in order to function within the confines of our social structure. Our balance is usually found in another person and within an interpersonal relationship, like many other balances within our psyche. We seek out those that can compliment and balance our individual natures; it is through this process that we can learn to achieve that balance within our selves – the primary and driving objective as long as it is self-realized.  

When one uses their strengths to best effect, they are given freely and we raise our vibration to a level which gives us great joy. Of course there is also a ‘flip side’ the pride that is built can overshadow this joy and create other issues. When we offer our strength freely and with generosity then the spirit in which it can be received can manifest great love and generate spiritual development. It is however very important that the intention with which it is given is honest and true, if it is not it will be unlikely that it will be received in any other manner than which it is given. Likewise, if the offer is met with scepticism and distrust then no matter what the spirit of the offer it will be lost in translation and other obstacles will manifest.

Our balance is usually found in another person and within an interpersonal relationship, like many other balances within our psyche. We seek out those that can compliment and balance our individual natures; it is through this process that we can learn to achieve that balance within our selves – the primary and driving objective as long as it is self-realized.

It is when that inner balance is not there that through a natural process we attach ourselves to others to have the external balance and that just creates problems, like we find relationships that carry out issues that have not be resolved with our parents or issues they have not resolved within their own relationship and we carry that environmental conditioning with us until we make those realization.  Another person can’t really balance you as it is an external it is an illusion and it is through the realization that it is an external illusion that we can first recognize the weaker trait within ourselves and work to find the balance within… Only when we recognize that we are looking for an external balance – as often we don’t recognize this behaviour within ourselves – and it is manifesting with our partner for example only by that recognition can we extricate ourselves from this dependency and move forward to create the balance within our self. It is only with the realization that the work can begin and it brings a deeper understanding of the person that we are.  What we do unconsciously is to expect something from the other person…get it from the other person…and in that case we are sucking the energy out of them for your own needs to balance your own drama as it were.If the other person is aware of this then they can protect themselves and in the short term if they are connected to themselves and conscious of the situation the energy can be given in a loving and compassionate manner for a period of time as they are connected to a higher vibration…when it becomes habitual within the relationship then the relationship itself starts to break down and then both individuals suffer.

This is not what is best for the relationship or for the individual … it can destroy both… both parties have to be conscious of the energy flow and their own dramas in order to resolve the issue and develop their own inner balance. Even if one is conscious of the others drama, by not playing into it they are then protecting themselves and their energy is not engaging a vampiric situation. It is when we fall into each others dramas that we are enabling behaviours and dramas therfore nothing is accomplished on a personal level except negative emotion and destructive atmosphere…

That can be accomplished if the other person is open to accepting the energy and not changing it with self imposed translations or rejection…then it is a conscious effort on the part of one and the other is receptive…it is only when one is not receptive as above that no matter how pure the energy can assistance be achieved. 

Only by changing and understanding our own behaviour patterns can progress be made and a positive atmosphere maintained for a path to light.

© T.S. (Tim) White, 2007  All rights reserved